New Visa Requirements

"Strap one on, this might hurt."

So, from what i can gather from a bunch of confused Korean bosses, confused American public offices, and confused peers, resigning is not too complicated, so long as you start WAAAAYYYY in advance.  The new American visa requirements stipulate that we start from scratch again, and repeat the original visa process, even though we're already here living abroad.

My boss had the smart idea of using me as a guinea pig for the criminal background check, so mine started long ago in August, long before I would've considered staying.  Thank goodness, eh?  She used me to time the process, because we were all learning (and also this would get it out of the way in case I decided to stay).  Turns out, it's a long process.  Easy on my end, but the 3+ months of waiting is interminable.  Basically this is what I had to do:


-My boss gave me a checklist that was provided by our school's headquarters.


-I had to go to a major police station in Seoul and have my fingerprinting done on a card provided by the FBI in the form of a printed-out PDF. I even got to take a half day of work to complete it!  That was fun.


-I put together all my documents and overnighted them to the FBI's office in the States.


-Then, I waited.....


-3 months later, I received a letter saying my credit card didn't work.


-Now, I'm to follow their instructions to fill out a new credit card form, and then scan that, a cover-letter, and the original letter, and email the documents to my parents.


-My parents will now print them out and fax them from the U.S. during business hours, because apparently the FBI doesn't leave on their fax machine overnight (14 hour time difference is a b***ch).


-They will simply add this new form to my existing request, and (hopefully) voila, FBI Background Check complete and en route.


After all that, I have to get my original diploma and my background check together, send them to a helpful family member again, have them notarized, and then walked around to all the government buildings in Cleveland to be apostilled to make them legitimate.  After they are "legitimate", I'll need my original diploma, my notarized/apostilled diploma, and my notarized/apostilled background check mailed back to me in Korea.  Once I receive them, I'll submit them to my school, who will submit them to immigration and the Korean Department of Education.   







THEN...


Then, I hope all will be fine, my visa will fall into my lap like an angelic piece of heavenly paper from the Lord above, and I won't have to screw around with this crap anymore.


I pity a person with no family in their home state, or no one who likes them enough to experience a bureaucratic nightmare for him or her.  There ain't nothin fun about traipsing around to all those government buildings, arguing with people that yes you need an apostille... no, you're sure... yes, there's a checklist... it's not FOR the American government, it's for the Korean government... yes, i'm sure... just stamp it, please and thanks...


But, lucky for me, I have an excellent mother who is happy* to help me out and take care of this shenanigan.


Things that made me laugh:


1. They spent $2.00 to mail me a letter that told me my credit card didn't work, instead of using the provided email and phone number that they requested for such an instance.  Wonder who's $2.00 I spent.....


2. I haven't actually BEEN to America for the past year, so the likelihood that I've returned, committed a federal crime, and need another background check to REVEAL said crime is ....slim.


3. I have already had my diploma apostilled and legitimized for the Korean government.  How on earth would my diploma transform into a fake, and why would I need anything legitimized twice for the same people?  It's like demanding a paternity test from your own mother.


4. The FBI turns off their fax machines when the offices are closed. 


Once this is over, I can sign this dandy little contract and go about my business... yippee.  Wish me luck that our friends at the Federal Bureau of Investigations go easy on me... I don't know if I can take much more.  Maybe this blog will save someone from the light amount of aggravation I've experienced, but then again, maybe not.  Good luck to all of you out there, and 수고하세요.










*probably a poor choice of words... consenting?