It's potty time.

I've lucked out living in a highly modern area where I am rarely forced to use the little squatty toilet hole-in-the-floor situations, unless I am desperate in a subway station. That mentioned, I am simply thankful there are bathrooms in the subway available to use at ALL. Also worth mentioning is they lack the used needles and scary characters that littered public restrooms in New York. However, I am not immune to the ever-so-present "used toilet paper in the trashcan" situation.

The Japanese anime show "Unko-san"... about poop characters who like kimchi. uh oh! i smell a fight...

My main problem with the korean bathrooms, aside from the fact that mine has a washing machine in it--along with no sink, is this mysterious "weak plumbing" that can't accomodate simple toilet paper being flushed. Possibly people flush their garbage to avoid the cost and mess of disposing of it, hence weakening the plumbing (this theory made possible by my friend who had the pleasure of her bathroom overflowing with toothpicks and a variety of other strange objects from the tenants above). Possibly the city grew so fast that the plumbing couldn't be refurbished as they built, but i'm sorry... i must have missed the memo. With some of the most killer buildings, excellent subways, supa fast trains and ritziest shit around, one would think i could be spared the sight and smell of a soiled pile of toilet tissue from the fashionistas with whom i share bathrooms around here. MA GAHHH.

You see these beautiful girls, dressed to the nines, wearing outfits that probably cost more than some people's houses, and you try to imagine them making the decision to opt-out of the flush, and instead, tossing it next to the toilet for the following person to enjoy. It's a nearly impossible image to envision, but obviously, it's a reality, because I see it.. EVERYWHERE I GO. From the nicest restaurants, to the lowliest coffee shop bathrooms; it's just everywhere. At some point i got violently angry about being exposed to this, and now... i just take a breath, squint my eyes to blur my surroundings, and piss like the wind.

Hey, poop is cute.

This, this I won't miss.

Bits and Tids

Well, it's getting to that point. I have a lot of things to tell everyone, but not enough to post them individually... plus, time's been whizzing by, and I haven't exactly kept up here. I've been sifting through pictures to see what's blog-worthy, and I've noticed I have a lot of weird videos and funny tidbits of stories, so i'll go with that.

Walking to school SLAYS me when I get to witness the salesmen at the car dealerships doing their morning, team-building warm-up:

No shame, no humiliation, just dedication to the cause. That's pride, baby. Stretching and limbering up on display for the morning commuters.

Let's see... ahhh yes. The Underwear Incident at the Lantern Festival Parade...

So, it's a nice afternoon at a wholesome event. I am wearing a dress--shocker, I know, but I was feeling festive. There are ajumas, monks, and little children everywhere, along with culture-seeking foreigners, eager to catch a glimpse of traditional dance and beautiful lanterns on this all-holiest of Buddha's birthday celebrations.

Jogyesa Temple in Insadong

Canopy of lanterns around the temple

There's a parade of thousands of lanterns that goes through Insadong (an artsy/traditional shopping area which is full of temples). We want to see said parade. We can't, because the aggressive old ladies are snagging lawnchairs like they're going out of style.

An amazing lantern float from the back as it passed by

We see a large group of people atop a cement wall with a grate. We decide to join them. Two of my girlfriends are also wearing dresses, by the way. The performances are underway, and we are enjoying our new found view. I am holding a delicate little, paper lotus-lantern... and a can of beer. Suddenly a breeze catches my skirt. This breeze becomes a violent updraft from, yes that's right, the SUBWAY grate we are standing on. Dresses blow nearly over our heads. I desperately grab at mine, disregarding my lantern and beer, which tango a bit with each other in my hands as I try to spare everyone around me from a full shot of my ass. The beer won, and the lantern, well, he never made it further than that subway grate. My friends and I let out these horrendous shrieks--as, I'm assuming, ANYONE with their dress blowing ALL the way up to their eyeballs might--and along comes an old, dirty foreign guy: "Let em go, girls, don't be shy!"... as he snaps numerous photos with his long zoom lens.

Brilliant. Your welcome, Lantern Festival. I hope it was as good for you as it was for me.

What else. Oh--how about that time I saw the drunk guy in a business suit passed out in the subway like a homeless person? Here, I took a picture:

I'd also like to bless you with this wonderful shot of my brother I snagged while skyping. He'll appreciate that I put him on here, I'm sure:

Cheorwon Wildlife Preserve

Last weekend, I had the amazing opportunity to tag along with a friend of mine and a top falconer to Cheorwon Wildlife Preserve.

The cannibal hawk who ate his friend; here he's hanging out on the edge of the coffee table while Sang cleans his area on the patio.

Actually, first we hung out at said falconer's apartment with a hawk, who apparently EATEN his hawk-friend earlier that week. Not a super friendly bird, to say the least. After hanging out with this bird-cannibal in an apartment, I decided that a little more space for viewing *maybe even flying* would be pretty nice.

How ELSE do you transport a hawk?

Gorgeous mountains.

We left in the morning and drove out of Seoul, north to Cheorwon. They say it's the closest city to the North Korean border that people can visit--about 10 km away. There are mountains all around the city of Seoul, but once you get out a ways, they're just everywhere--and fully visible instead of peeking over buildings and bridges.

Smells of manure in the rice paddies and the sights of little strip malls enlivened the three-ish hour long drive. We got out there, and it looked like a strange zoo or something: big cylindrical cages, and the sounds of screeching birds.

The center basically focuses on birds of prey--BIG birds… like Snow Vultures who fly south from Mongolia and get stuck here with a variety of injuries. The Snow Vultures can't be re-released into the wild as far as I know--they won't make it once they've been in contact with humans.

Snow Vultures... approximately 3+ feet tall.

A Crane with an injured leg.

An intimidating walk to the vet's room with an eagle loose in the hallway. She was no tiny bird.

Piercing black eyes watched your EVERY move. She's a pretty clever bird.

Large and small owls were there, as well as an amazing crane and a big eagle. It was pretty amazing, but not nearly as cool as actually getting to take one of the owls out and feed him.

Reg and I getting ready to eat.

Feeding "Reginald", or "Reg" for short, entailed cutting up some dead chicks and putting them in a little hip-pack that you wear like a belt, taking him out in a big field, dropping him off, walking down a ways, and holding out the gloved hand while calling "illewah" to him. Then, he'd take off and swoop low to the ground, and gingerly land on your arm! A.M.A.Z.I.N.G. He was very gentle, and a bit heavy. He wasn't a small bird by any stretch. He would screech and snuggle against Rachael, who regularly trains him. He's a pretty cool guy. I might be a bit in love.

Off he hops to wait for us to walk down a ways and call him again.

SEXY.

Snuggles for his girlfriend :)

I got to see the vets working on a crow and the eagle… removing bandages, checking wounds, and redressing injuries. The owner took everyone out to lunch, and Sang (the falconer) spent it busting my balls, trying to convince me I should ask one of the volunteers when he escaped from North Korea. Then the owner suggested they all start a band, and I could design their posters. Good times. I'll definitely be going back, if for nothing else, to draw the birds--they're gorgeous, and many are nearly as big as me.

So, basically it was the best day of my life. Sunny and gorgeous, at about 70 degrees, surrounded by mountains in every direction, with a huge owl landing on my arm to eat a dead chick out of my hand. Yes please.

A bit more about the center:

Cheorwon Wildlife Rescue.. about 2 1/2-3 hours outside Seoul.. 10 km from North Korea. Run by the owner and a few vets, they mostly function on volunteers. They have birds of prey--and some other wild animals-- who come to them with a variety of injuries, are nursed to health and re-released into the wild if possible.