Culture Shock

SHOCK—Synonyms stagger, astound, stupefy. Shock, startle, paralyze, stun suggest a sudden, sharp surprise that affects one somewhat like a blow.Shock suggests a strong blow, as it were, to one's nerves, sentiments, sense of decency, etc.: The onlookers were shocked by the accident. Startle implies the sharp surprise of sudden fright: to be startled by a loud noise. Paralyze implies such a complete shock as to render one temporarily helpless: paralyzed with fear. Stun implies such a shock as bewilders or stupefies: stunned by the realization of an unpleasant truth.

About a week ago, I went shopping alone in Express Bus Terminal, and while trying to buy a scarf, had the joyous experience of being ridiculed *to my face* by two snot-nosed, waif-thin, teenage shop girls. Needless to say, I didn't buy the scarf.

Upon leaving the store, I felt fairly….angry. My insecurities were through the roof, and it felt like I was walking around naked with every set of eyes burning holes right through me. I took a few deep breaths, and gave myself a hypothetical slap across the face. 'Get it together, man! Don't freak out! They're teenagers. The same b*tches you'd run into at a boutique in your own country any day of the week. Don't go all "Carrie" on the entire country.'

After that, I started thinking a lot about culture shock--what it is, why people experience it, and if it's coming for me…

I recently had a conversation with a close friend about the timing of culture shock… she read a lot about it, and said that many people's honeymoon period with a new country fades at about month 4 or 5, and then homesickness and culture shock can set in. I've read more about exile, myself. While the two are related, the major difference I've gathered is exile is a permanent state of alienation, with a total inability to return to one's own idea of "normal", while culture shock is a fleeting adjustment stage.

I took a look at wikipedia to gather a cocktail-length summation of culture shock. As usual, they have it broken down and organized into a neat, little wiki-package:

▪ Some people find it impossible to accept the foreign culture and integrate. They isolate themselves from the host country's environment, which they come to perceive as hostile, withdraw into a ghetto and see return to their own culture as the only way out. These Rejectors also have the greatest problems re-integrating back home after return. Approximately 60% of expatriates behave in this way.

▪ Some people integrate fully and take on all parts of the host culture while losing their original identity. They normally remain in the host country forever. Approximately 10% of expatriates belong to this group of Adopters.

▪ Some people manage to adapt the aspects of the host culture they see as positive, while keeping some of their own and creating their unique blend. They have no major problems returning home or relocating elsewhere. Approximately 30% of expatriates are these so-called Cosmopolitans.

As an American, you learn to dissect your own culture while you're existing in it. You criticize it, debate it, laugh at it, deny it, claim that you don't even have a culture… no legit history, no grand legacy of kings and queens, just a variety of exiled Europeans plopping down their flag and claiming the land for themselves.

Being here isn't so different from being in any major city. Seoul is highly modern and fairly westernized. I can walk down the street and order a latte from a variety of coffee shops. I can take a subway. I can eat a hamburger. I can buy peanut butter. But really, when you're removed from your culture, you become very aware that you've had one all along.

This is not America.

I'm fascinated with the way people make little clans for themselves when they're alone...like a pseudo-family… i did it in new york, and now here. The act of surrounding yourself with people who care about you…the urge to create tribes is an inherent compulsion of man. People who would never be compatible become like siblings while abroad. I've been very lucky to find some friends who really ARE a good match for me, no matter where I am living.

I like this city, the culture, and the food, even if it's not my own. I miss my family and friends, but I enjoy this experience. I feel wiser for it. All that said, I went to a different store, bought myself the same scarf from a much nicer shop girl, and had a great evening with some very fun people.

Natalie: 1, Culture Shock: 0.