Masan Wedding

This was my first trip outside Seoul. Kerry and Minji were friends I met through one of our teachers. They got married in Masan, and graciously invited me to come along. I was thrilled, as I'd never been to a Korean wedding before. I was also thrilled with the opportunity to go to the south of the peninsula and see a more relaxed port town. It was a great weekend with a lot of really fun people.

mountains on the drive down

Masan

hotel's got me totally covered

Korean weddings are usually held in the bride's home town. They are at large wedding halls that are simultaneously accommodating six or so weddings at once. The couple selects an "auditorium" by theme: pink, white, roses, etc...

minji before the ceremony

man-gloves

The guests arrived casually, and there was a laser-like light show being projected onto the walls. The aisle was raised a few feet off the ground, had a glass surface, and was lit from within with purple twinkle lights. There were light covered trees lining the aisle, and it was fairly noisy.

When the wedding began, people continued to talk openly. A professor from a university was selected to make a speech in Korean to the couple. Two good-looking MC's (one English speaker and one Korean) narrated the ceremony from a podium next to the alter. There were a lot of spot lights and music. Once they had exchanged vows, a cake smoking with dry ice was wheeled out, and they cut it with a sword. Two glasses of champagne came later, they wrapped arms and sipped for a quick picture. Shortly after that, Kerry performed a song for Minji, all the while being jostled and yanked around by the most aggressive wedding photographers I have ever seen. Then, photos were taken immediately with the guests still in the hall. I was included in one of the group pictures. People trickled out to the buffet while we watched a few costume changes into hanbok clothing for photos.

the families

kerry and minji in hanbok

The wedding guests do not necessarily eat together or at the same time. All the weddings from that day seat themselves in a large buffet area, and leave whenever they please. It's very informal.

That night we celebrated at the hotel bar with wine and a Filipino band. The guy was super animated, and the girls had on matching gold lamay mini dresses. It was hilarious.

The next day Hosup (the Korean MC) and I went in search of agwi fish. Most cities in Korea are famous for one dish, and this was Masan's. Probably not an ideal breakfast, but it was good for a hangover. We also enjoyed stumbling upon the Agujjim Festival and markets full of... delectable treats:

me making agwi fish face.

hosup making agwi fish face

The largest market in Korea, I heard. this was obviously after the fact; I was so disappointed I missed my opportunity for pictures when it was in full force.

sea penises

roots/herbs

.......dinner? i kept trying to imagine a person stumbling upon these beasts and saying, 'oh, they look delicious~I'll take a pound and a half so we'll have leftovers.'

On that note, sugohaseyo, people.

Sawasdee

We spent 8 days in Bangkok and Pattaya in Thailand for our summer vacation. What. A. Trip. Mind you we weren't in the most picturesque of places, but I wouldn't trade meeting our new friends and seeing old friends for any amount of scenery. It's hard for me to have a physical sense of geography in Asia, when all my normal gauges are tuned to North American distances. Little did I know it was a six hour flight from Incheon Airport in Seoul to Bangkok. I believe it was also a three or four hour time difference. We were really in a time-warp, considering our Korean cell phones don't get a signal in other countries. Remember when there were no cell phones? Remember pay phones? It felt a little bit like that.

We left on Jeju Air. Had I known how long the flight would be, I would've possibly chosen a classier airline. This was much like flying Airtran all the way to Europe.

We arrived in Bangkok late, got our luggage and headed outside for a taxi. We were set up with a friendly driver who led us outside. We looked at a long row of shiny new cabs, and then my eyes settled on a busted looking vehicle at the end of the row with a bungee cord holding the trunk shut. 'I pity the poor sucker who gets THAT cab' I thought. And our driver unhinged the bungee cord and happily loaded in our luggage.

However disappointed I may have been in the degenerate cab, the driver was hilarious. He called us Mr. Chris and Miss Natalie. He often asked us if we felt happy and seemed up for a nice long chat. We buzzed along the freeway at high speeds and made good time into Bangkok.

Once we got there, we made our way to insane Khao San Road to get to our hotel. Picture a walking street filled with people as thick as mardi gras, but cars, tuk tuks and motorbikes still use it as well. Most of the time I thought we were going to accidentally take out a food stand or a vendor, but somehow we made two passes through the chaos. Finally, we found our hotel. Alas they had moved us to their sister hotel. We walked through a deserted market to get to our new destination.

Time for a celebratory drink.

During our celebratory drink, Chris had the pleasure of being 'had' over a game of rock, paper, scissors but this savvy lady. His losing status determined he was to purchase quite of few of her lovely roses.

the king: an avid photographer and quite the humanitarian, i hear.

A 'burglar' fully masked, working on electrical boxes in 100 degree heat plus humidity.

A temple. It was a national holiday, sadly I'm not sure which one, but everyone was visiting the temples.

Devotional flowers at the temple

Waiting for the bus to Pattaya

On the drive

There were so many of these billboards standing empty all the way to the beach. They were monumental in size.

And then Adrienne came!!

Friends we met: Kiran and Jas from the UK. Really made our trip.

Scott and Seo came from Hong Kong.

now THAT is a monsoon, my friends.

Chris on the back of the tuk tuk truck

Buddha outside our hotel, drinking fanta and eating bananas.

LEMURRRRRR!

ADRIENNE MEETS THE LEMURRRRR!

I am not a proponent of animals being used as performers. These little guys were irresistible. Their owners let you hold them and take three pictures. I nearly died when their soft, fleshy fingers wrapped around my thumb. They are easily the most fabulous creatures I have ever laid my hands on. Sorry animal lovers. I had to. I just had to.

This is how restaurants get around the holiday and continue selling alcohol. You get one of these nifty plastic cups to put your cup inside. Brilliant.

Pattaya

Street performers

tom yam soup...

...and smiling mushrooms

We got to spend some time at our friends' hotel. It was pretttttty nice. Note the parrots freely roaming the pool area.

Thailand was interesting. The smiles are endless, but everywhere you look strange things are happening... domestic violence is tucked in here and there. Police are lurking around. The sex industry is alive and well--actually, abundant. Everyone seems like they know some seedy secret that you're not allowed to hear. It was quite an experience.

At the end of our trip we headed off back to our little apartments in Seoul. It was a bizarre feeling to come home, considering "home" was Korea, not the U.S. It made me feel fairly displaced, but I was glad to see my kids and get back into the swing of things. Sawasdee!

Spring/Summer Leftovers

Things I've done that slipped through the blog cracks:

Seoul Tower

Inside the viewing deck.

The hazy view of the city from the tower. Pollution was thick that day.

The tower at night. Very beautiful.

The Cherry Blossom Festival

I felt right at home.

The International Breakdancing Tournament at Olympic Park

The entrance to the park

Sculpture around the park

The Korean team. WOW. Like breakdancing ninjas. They were spectacular.

An Alphabet: Understanding Asia, by Brian Aylward

An Alphabet: Understanding Asia

from Groove Korea

by Canadian comedian Brian Aylward

A is for Asia: Thanks for the clothes, kids.

B is for Bangkok: If you ever find yourself in Bangkok and someone asks you to go to a "ping pong show," trust me, you don't need paddles.

C is for Canada: Many Americans traveling around Asia claim to be Canadian. It's not a bad idea, as many Asians dislike Americans. Also, Canadians and Americans are very similar. Canadians are like Americans, who read.

D is for Dog Soup: In Korea, some people eat dog soup. While living in Korea, I choose not to eat it. It was not a moral decision, but a mental one. I believe the broth in dog soup is puppy tears.

E is for ESL Teacher: ESL teaching is like cooking. Most people know how an oven works, but that doesn't necessarily mean they should have their own cooking show.

F is for Food: There are many interesting and delicious culinary choices throughout Asia. A lot of the foods are difficult to recognize for foreigners. they are called vegetables, you fat bastards. Don't be afraid.

G is for Gum: Bring some gum from home, because most of the gum in Asia loses it's flavor after two minutes, kind of like Jason Mraz.

H is for Human Trafficking: Sadly, there are more sex workers than there are trees in Asia. It's one of the top sellers here. The top three are electronics, rice and vaginas. Not particularly in that order.

I is for India: Arranged marriage is still a commonly practiced tradition throughout India. As opposed to the Western world, where we trade bodily fluids like baseball cards and often marry whoever we impregnate.

J is for Japan: Through "Hello Kitty" contact lenses, enjoy weird and wonderful Japan. Cucumber flavored Pepsi, anyone? How about cartoon rape? Yes, really.

K is for Karaoke: These singing rooms are very popular throughout Asia. Sometimes, the pronunciation problems of locals provide hilarious hits. "Night Fever" by the Bee Gees suddenly becomes a song about night beaver. By the way, somebody should write a song about night beaver.

L is for Language: Languages are interesting. My favorite is when someone curses at you in broken english. I was once at a bar/restaurant and there was a Korean man spitting on the floor next to our table. He was drinking. I turned to him and asked him to stop spitting. He got very agitated and said, "You, f*** my ass." Awesome.

M is for Market: Asia has "many, many" markets. They are great. At most markets in Asia, you can get a badminton racket, a watermelon and a wedding dress for less than $70.

N is for North Korea: Kim Jong-il is North Korea's "Supreme Leader." Recently, I was having a conversation with someone and they said, "Kim Jong-il is a douchebag." That's like saying Jeffrey Dahmer wasn't friendly.

O is for OMG!: Oh My God! Is that a man? Yes it is. Transvestites in Asia are a pretty puzzle, with one important piece missing. Be careful or enjoy. Your decision.

P is for Philippines: Be careful of balut. Balut is sold as streetfood in the Philippines. It is a fertilized duck or chicken egg, with a nearly developed embryo inside. It does NOT taste like chicken.

Q is for Question: "What's the difference between Asian women and Canadian women?" my younger brother asked me. "about 90 pounds," I said. I told this joke on stage awhile ago and there were several angry Canadian women in the crowd. They booed me. Well, I don't know if they were booing or mooing, but they seemed really upset.

R is for Rice: Dear Koreans, rice is NOT delicious. Thank you.

S is for Seoul: Seoul has an infamous expat area called "Itaewon." Itaewon is where lots of foreigners from all around the world gather and share STD's. Also there are some nice restaurants and cheap phone cards.

T is for Taco Bell: Taco Bell finally opened in Itaewon.

U is for Umbrellas: Using umbrellas, many Asian women hide from the sunlight in the summer like it is an abusive stepfather.

V is for Vaseline: If you work at a hagwon in Korea, you might need some.

W is for Waegukin: Waegukin is a Korean word, which generally translates into ENglish as "a foreigner who is not successful in their native country."

X is for Xenophobia: Many Asian have an exaggerated fear of foreigners. There are several things you can do to remedy their fearful feelings. First, you should smile. A smiling face is always welcomed. Also, don't rape and pillage.

Y is for Yellow Fever: Yellow fever is when a non-Asian man has a particular sexual attraction to Asian women. However, when the woman cannot speak English and the man cannot speak her native language, it's kind of like being retarded and in a relationship.

Z is for Zen: Z is also for Zig Zag, which is another way of attaining enlightenment.